Genre: Horror
Length: 451 Pages
Publisher: Titan Books
Release date: January 20, 2023
Synopsis:
Every childhood home is haunted, and each of us are possessed by our parents.
When their parents die at the tail end of the coronavirus pandemic, Louise and Mark Joyner are devastated but nothing can prepare them for how bad things are about to get. The two siblings are almost totally estranged, and couldn’t be more different. Now, however, they don’t have a choice but to get along. The virus has passed, and both of them are facing bank accounts ravaged by the economic meltdown. Their one asset? Their childhood home. They need to get it on the market as soon as possible because they need the money. Yet before her parents died they taped newspaper over the mirrors and nailed shut the attic door.
Sometimes we feel like puppets, controlled by our upbringing and our genes. Sometimes we feel like our parents treat us like toys, or playthings, or even dolls. The past can ground us, teach us, and keep us safe. It can also trap us, and bind us, and suffocate the life out of us. As disturbing events stack up in the house, Louise and Mark have to learn that sometimes the only way to break away from the past, sometimes the only way to sell a haunted house, is to burn it all down.
Review copy provided in exchange for an honest review
When I stumble across an author I’ve never read before, and I like the book it’s a win. This is what happened while reading the Amazon Original Stories named, the Creature Feature series. I had read Joe Hill and Josh Malerman, two writers that sit on my radar. Next was Ankle Snatcher by Grady Hendrix an author I’d seen read by many fellow Goodreads reviewers. But, an author I hadn’t taken a chance on. Well Ankle Snatcher was a great read. It had great pacing with characters I quickly became attached to and excellent tension. I thought, hell I’ve just found another author to read and why haven’t I been reading him sooner. I’d seen How to Sell a Haunted House reviewed by many on Goodreads and thought what the hell, I’ll give it a shot.
How to Sell a Haunted House got off to a great start with the death of Louise’s parents. She is a complex character with an even more complex past. Her relationship with her bother Mark and her parents is nothing short of a cluster. When she returns to her parents home to begin dealing with their burial arrangements and estate we learn her time there will be a bumpy ride and nothing will go as planned. Her folks home is creepy as all hell with dolls and puppets filling it from top to bottom. Props to Grady Hendrix for adding plenty of creep factor. I can’t stand dolls nor puppets and that added to the horror.
As the book approaches the mid way mark I felt the momentum slow to a crawl as we learn of Mark’s backstory. The dolls and puppets play a role here but fast pace I was digging was lost and Mark wasn’t a character I found likable. One puppet in particular, Pupkin, was the focus of the haunting and that backstory was great. The many other dolls and puppets that were involved in the haunting lost me. I didn’t get how or why they were part of the haunting.
As How to Sell a Haunted House nears it climax the onslaught of puppets and dolls coming at Louise and Mark was a lot to believe. Pupkin wasn’t happy and he brought friends to keep Louise and Mark from selling the house. With the help of a few cousins and aunts the puppet army is defeated. Even though this all was a lot to buy into, it was a hell of a fun read as human and puppet fight it out. I didn’t love How to Sell a Haunted House as I had Ankle Snatcher but that won’t keep me from further exploring Grady Hendrix’s other books.
Link to purchase How to Sell a Haunted House
Grady Hendrix, Biography-
Grady Hendrix is the author of the novels Horrorstör, about a haunted IKEA, and My Best Friend’s Exorcism, which is like Beaches meets The Exorcist, only it’s set in the Eighties. He’s also the author of We Sold Our Souls, The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires, and the upcoming (July 13!) Final Girl Support Group!
He’s also the jerk behind the Stoker award-winning Paperbacks from Hell, a history of the 70’s and 80’s horror paperback boom, which contains more information about Nazi leprechauns, killer babies, and evil cats than you probably need.
And he’s the screenwriter behind Mohawk, which is probably the only horror movie about the War of 1812 and Satanic Panic.
You can listen to free, amazing, and did I mention free podcasts of his fiction on Pseudopod. He also does a podcast called Super Scary Haunted Homeschool.
If you’re not already sick of him, you can learn all his secrets at his website.
The Scary Reviews 